How we feel effects every decision or judgement we make, and controls out thoughts, mood, and behaviour. We recognise emotion in a person’s face, voice and body language. Concealing emotions can be tricky. A person’s emotional state, (or mood) can just be sensed. Emotions can not be seen from a medical point of view, yet they are connected to every nerve in the body. A flutter in the stomach, a tremble of the hand, a sharp intake of breath. These are all nervous reactions to emotion.

Other people’s emotions are just as contagious as the flu. Misery loves company, but when someone is happy or excited, you can catch that emotion too. Our personal beliefs and morals determine how we react emotionally. Two people can have a different emotional response to the same situation depending on their character and personality. Arguments start when neither person is able to interpret how the other is feeling. Empathy is a wonderful quality to have, because when we try to understand how someone else is feeling, we can adapt our own actions to smoothen the interaction.

Children just react intuitively to their emotions. It can be quite amusing to watch a small child throw a temper tantrum. Screaming, howling, foot stamping, fist pummeling…. They simply let it all out. As adults, we have since, {most of the time anyway} developed the skill of controlling our emotions.

Women are considered to be more emotional than men, but that’s not true. Men and women experience exactly the same emotions, women just have a tendency to display them more openly. It actually takes longer for a man’s blood pressure to return to normal after a highly emotional experience than it does for a woman’s.

If you have ever been so hurt, you became void of all emotion, you know just how horrible that can be. You are then willing to feel any emotion, just to feel something!

Emotions love to surprise us. Sometimes we feel so much emotion it overwhelms us, and we lose all sense of reason. When unexpected events occur we often feel and react differently than how we imagine we would. Behaviour that is out of character always has an emotional reason behind it.

Dreams often cause intense emotions. When trying to interpret a dream, look at how the event made you feel, rather than focusing on the event itself. That way the dream is more understandable.

Emotions were once considered private, but now a days we are more open to talking about them. Appreciate all your emotions, recognise them, and try to adapt them in difficult situations. Life is full of ups and downs, but even negative emotions disappear eventually. That is, if you are brave enough to feel them and let them go….

Andrea Maria Sims

Which is Stronger? Love or Hate…?

Love and hate are not opposites. They have the same opposite, indifference. Hate can make you want to kill someone. Love can make you willing to die for someone. So which is more powerful…. love or hate?

I randomly asked this question to anyone I happened to meet for several days. The response of course was mixed. Some people sincerely believed that love is stronger, while others ultimately believed that hate is the more powerful emotion. Listed below are some of the reasons people gave me to explain why they thought a particular emotion was stronger.

LOVE IS STRONGER BECAUSE….

Love calms you, hate destroys you.

No amount of hatred can make you do something to hurt a person you really love.

People fall in love for no reason, but you only really hate a person if they do something bad to you or someone you care about first.

Love comes naturally. Hate is not a natural feeling.

Any hurt can be healed with love.

Love binds, hate separates.

It’s easy to walk away from hate; it’s hard to walk away from love.

It’s hard to hate someone you love.

HATE IS STRONGER BECAUSE….

Hate… The word just sounds aggressive. It has that heavy “T” sound.

It requires more energy to hate then it does to love.

Lots of people say I love you, even when they don’t mean it. But when someone says I hate you, it can really hurt.

Hate is associated with darkness. Perhaps because love is such a light feeling we hardly notice it. Dark emotions just seem heavier and appear to weigh us down for longer.

Although love can last a lifetime the initial sparks usually fade. If you really hate someone the sparks of hatred can burn on forever.

Hate has the power to destroy.

It’s easy to hate, love takes time.

You can love a person today and hate them tomorrow. It’s much harder to hate them today and love them tomorrow.

So which do you believe is the more powerful emotion …. Love or Hate?

Andrea Maria Sims

Emotions

Dr. Ariely is the author of The New York Times Best Seller Predictably Irrational.
www.danariely.com

Up In The Clouds….

Many memories from the past,
Let’s make some more, they always last,
Never good to press rewind,
But a love like this is hard to find,
Deep down you know we’re just the same,
So in the end, who is to blame,
Both with our head up in the clouds,
Not following the usual crowds,
Dreaming high, and flying free,
It’s the only way to be,
So baby run, come take my hand,
Because you know, the best laid plan,
Is simply going with the flow,
Not moving fast, not moving slow,
So take a chance, and dance with me,
Because you know, it’s meant to be,

Andrea Maria Sims

Spinning Round

You spin me round and round,
Inside out, and upside down,
Dizzy now, you have me hooked,
Just one look is all it took,
So addicted to this feeling,
Because in you, I’m still believing,
Years and miles, so far apart,
But you do something to my heart,
Feel it now, and felt it then,
Think it’s happening again,
You touch me somewhere deep inside,
I can’t pretend, no where to hide,
Never felt this right before,
It’s like I’m ill, and you’re the cure.
Maybe right, can’t be wrong,
But baby, it’s been far too long,
My walls are down, you’re not denied,
Really want you by my side,
Don’t know what the future holds,
Have to see how this unfolds,
But this much I know is true,
It feels so right when I’m with you,

Andrea Maria Sims

Words Tell The Story of Who We Really Are…

We use words to share thoughts, ideas, and communicate; they’re a reflection of our heart and mind.Everyone wants to be heard and recognised, so the words we use are important. We often stumble with our words, and have trouble finding the right words to express what we really mean. Words sometimes come out not sounding how we wanted them to be said.

A person known for their word, is someone who tells the truth and keeps promises.

“I give you my word.” Or “You have my word.” It’s a promise…

Once words are said, the expectation is there. If your words are never carried out, than you’re not a wo/man of your word.

So if you’re not going to do something, don’t say you will. If our words mean nothing, how can anyone take us at our word?

And really, words are all we have, it’s one of the easiest ways to judge a person’s character.

The words we use and how we use them represent us. Words scattered with profanities tell us something about the person using them. Maybe they’re angry or insecure. A person that keeps repeating their words is probably nervous.

But it’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it…..

We pick up on the level of enthusiasm in people’s words. We’re more likely to listen to someone, if they’re using positive words enthusiastically.

People’s reaction to our words, depend on where their mind is when we’re having the conversation. The right words at the right time mean everything.

Words can be effective if you know how to use them. If you want to be listened to and noticed, then choose your words wisely….

Andrea Maria Sims

The Power of Words

Words

Hot ‘N’ Cold…

You pull me in, then shut me out,
Filling me with fear and doubt,
Tired of the games you play,
And all the things you never say,
You didn’t feel that much for me,
Just taken me a while to see,
Been holding on for far too long,
But things have changed, now I feel strong,
So baby after all this time,
You’re giving me the same old line,
Charming all the girls for kicks,
Honey, I know all your tricks,
You had me going for a while,
Maybe even made me smile,
But days go by, the nights are cold,
Your promises are growing old,
I hear the truth beneath the lies,
See the answer in your eyes,
It shouldn’t be this hard I know,
And that is why I’m letting go,

Andrea Maria Sims

Fear

Fear restricts us. Fear of rejection, fear of being criticized, fear of not being good enough. Fear holds us back.

But fear is merely a prediction… DARE to face your fears!

“Fear the fear and it grows, face the fear and it goes…” Umar Sheriff

What is Time…?

Without the idea of time, our world would be chaos. But time is not concrete, it’s such an abstract concept. We can not see it, touch it, understand it, or even prove it. When we think of time, we tend to think of the way we measure it, like a clock or a watch, but what is time really?

Time is simply a recording of the earth’s natural movements. Ancient civilizations observed that seasons came and went in a repetative sequence. They watched the sun and the moon, and began to understand that the world evolves on a continuous cycle. Recording this cycle meant survival. By studying patterns they could predict when to plant crops, and prepare for droughts and harsh weather. Following the rhythm of the earth gave meaning and structure to their lives, and helped them plan and record events.

Different types of Luna Calendar’s developed, but it wasn’t until 1582, The Gregorian Calendar, {the one we use now} was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII. Over the centuries the system was slowly adopted by different nations, and is now believed to be used universally around the world.

So time doesn’t really exist. It’s just a system that helps schedule our lives based on the rotation of the earth, the convenience of darkness and light, and the changing of the seasons. Time is so elusive, that leap years are needed just to keep our calendar in alignment with the earth’s natural cycle around the sun. So in a motionless universe, would there still be time and we just wouldn’t be able to measure it? Or would time cease to exist at all…?

We perceive time as the progression of existence. Time is deadlines, schedules and appointments. It’s how long we have to get things done, and what we have to do tomorrow. Time is talked about all the time. There’s this constant battle to do things on time. We don’t have time. We need more time. Where did the time go? We request time. We demand time. We try to prioritize time. And in the end we all eventually run out of time anyway.

Having more time doesn’t necessarily make us happy either. Then we complain we have too much time. We get annoyed and talk about having to kill time.

Time is really nothing more then a series of moments. These moments usually get distorted, and we remember things however we want to remember them anyway. Let’s say two people were in the same place at the same time. They wouldn’t share the same memory of that time, because no two people ever experience or remember a moment in the same way.

So if time is just a series of moments, and we’re all seeing these moments differently, do we all have our own dimension of time…?

Occasionally, a song, a smell, a picture, a place, something triggers our memory, and creates a feeling of déjà vu so strong, it’s as if we go back in time and re-live that moment.

And ironically the worst times, usually make the best stories. The past always looks better in the future.

As children we don’t really notice time. Time is an infinite possibility that doesn’t concern us. Days go on and on and we never worry about things that need to get done. Without responsibility time is limitless. It’s only later in life, after we acquire responsibility that limits our free time, we begin to appreciate it.

At some point we all question time. “Should I be doing more with my life? My time?” We can get so focused on time it exhausts us, and we end up doing nothing.

Since time is technically told by the sun, and the sun is just a giant ball of fire, why do we let it dominate our thoughts? When we stop thinking and worrying about time, we become so much more relaxed.

The concept of time confuses me, but what I understand is this….

We can chase time, but we will never capture it. Whatever time is, it can’t be stopped. Paused… Or rewound. All we have is now.

And if we spend all our time dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, we just get stuck in a time that doesn’t even exist. Yesterday and tomorrow are really just the earth spinning.

Learn from the past and dream about the future, but be present and focused for every moment or you miss out on life. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, that’s where your heart and mind should be.

T -he

i -nfinite

m -easurement

e -ons

Today, is the tomorrow, you worried about yesterday.

Andrea Maria Sims

Time

Why does time seem to go by faster and faster as we grow older? And when you’re really scared, why does time seem to slow down…?

Short clip of Neuroscientist, Dr. David Eagleman talking about these strange phenomenons and our concept of time.

Are We Choking on Choice?

        Decisions, Decisions…

Freedom is viewed as having choices, so we tend to think the more choice we have, the better life must be. We continuously make choices all day long. There are little choices like toast or cereal, bath or shower, stay home tonight or go out. Then there are big choices, like moving, changing careers, or ending a relationship. As the world evolves and modern technology advances, our choices keep expanding. Although we believe that by having many choices we get what we want, decision making can be confusing and exhausting.

When you’ve made some bad decisions, you lose confidence in yourself. You no longer trust yourself to make the right choice, and can become frozen with uncertainty.

Fear of making a mistake holds us back, but bad choices shape and mould us just like good ones.

Einstein said, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.’

If you keep repeating the same behavior, and choosing the same choices, the outcome will always remain the same. It’s better to make a wrong decision and keep moving, then stay stuck in a rut and never progress.

All choices involve loss and gain. When you choose to do one thing, you also choose not to do another. These days with so many choices available to us, it’s easy to start second guessing our self, and our choices. The regret we feel over opportunities we didn’t choose, often prevents us from enjoying the choices we did.

A study done by Dr Sheen Iyenger, a Research Professor at Columbia, found customers given too many choices become confused, and are 10 times less likely to buy.

For the experiment she set up two tasting booths in a California supermarket, both offering shoppers the chance to sample various types of jam. One booth offered 24 different options; the other only 6.

With more choice in the first booth, you would think shoppers would find a flavor they liked, and buy a jar, but the opposite happened. People tried more samples, and bought a lot more jam at the booth with only 6 varieties. The people who stopped at the 24-jam booth simply felt overwhelmed, and were less likely to make any choice at all.

Another survey done by Dr Atul Gawande, a Professor at the Harvard School of Public Health, found 65% of people said that if they were to get cancer, then they’d want to choose their own treatment. The same survey was then given to people who really do have cancer, and only 12% of the patients wanted to choose their own treatment. So people think they want an extensive choice, but in reality they don’t.

Social pressure sometimes influences our choices, and we often conform to make the same choices as others, or choose the choices expected of us. Decisions can cause conflict if other people are affected by a choice we make.

Money generates more choice, but happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response to wealth. Research suggests that people do get happier as their income increases, but only up to a level where they are comfortable. Many people overestimate how much pleasure they will get from material things. You can’t buy faith, trust, perseverance, forgiveness, patience, intelligence, bravery, kindness, humor, honor, love or wisdom. So while money can offer an abundance of choice, having all these choices doesn’t necessarily mean we get what we want, or are any happier.

If something negatively affects a decision we’re making, it’s easy to ignore the problem, or pretend we don’t see it. But blocking out the truth only leads to disappointment. True freedom isn’t about having choices, it’s about being aware of things you’d rather not know, when making your choice.

An emotional event, or unexpected circumstance can force us to make a decision. Sometimes none of the choices we have are what we want, so we have to make the best choice out of all the bad choices available to us. These can be the toughest choices of all.

It’s easy to become obsessed, researching, analyzing and weighing up options, but the best decisions are often the ones we make before having too much time to think about it.

Focusing on long term goals, and considering which choice will help you achieve that goal is a good way to make a decision. When you think about an option, your body responds quicker then your mind. Pay attention to how your body reacts when you’re analyzing your choices, and how each choice makes you feel.

The power to choose how we live our life is something people are willing to fight and die for. With out any choice at all life would be infinitely boring.

The reality is, some choice is better than none, but more choice does not always bring happiness…

“You don’t always get what you want, but sometimes in the end, what you get is so much better than what you were hoping for…”

Andrea Maria Sims

Tea For Two?

A hot cup of tea is soothing and therapeutic. The most wonderful conversations are usually had over a cup of tea.

Around the world, approximately three billion cups of tea are drunk every day. In American the most popular way to drink it is iced, Indian’s like it spiced, and the Japanese serve it green and naked, {without milk or sugar.} Tibetan’s drink their tea made with salt and rancid yak butter. The English prefer it sweet and milky, and the Irish drink more tea than any other nation.

To fully appreciate the taste and aroma, tea should stew alone first, before anything is added.

Tea has been enjoyed for over 5000 years. Legend has it, that the tradition of afternoon tea was developed in England during the late 1800’s. Anna Maria Stanhope, the Duchess of Bedford, {and a lady-in-waiting to Queen Victoria,} complained that dinner was served so late, that during the long afternoons she would often feel hungry. The Duchess began requesting that her maid bring her a cup of tea and a light snack every afternoon around four. She started inviting friends to join her, and a new trend was born, afternoon tea.

Tea Gardens became an important part of British society. A Tea Garden was a place where ladies and gentleman could sit and drink tea together, surrounded by live entertainment. The gardens made tea drinking even more fashionable, and attracted everybody including Mozart and Handel. In that era, Tea Gardens were one of the few places where men and women could meet freely.

Tea parties could be elaborate affairs and ‘tea party dresses’ became, popular. {A dress appropriate for taking a woman from casual afternoon, to formal evening.} The dresses were high-waisted, with several layers of petticoats, and short puffy sleeves. Properly dressed ladies accessorized with gloves, bonnets and parasols. Sweet and savory delicacies were served; cucumber sandwiches, fresh fruits and cheeses, scones with jam and cream, biscuits, cakes, and endless pots of tea of course.

The working class eventually followed the trend and started taking a much needed tea break in the afternoon. Tea breaks have been common in the work place for at least the past two hundred years. 80% of office workers say they really find out what’s going on at the office over a cup of tea.

There are four main types of tea, White, Green, Oolong, and Black. They all come from the same species of plant, the Camellia Sinensis. Tea was first developed in China, but is now grown throughout Asia and other parts of the world. Today, India is the world’s largest tea producer, processing an estimated 850,000 tons of it each year.

Tea is the most popular drink in the world, next to water. In Siberia, tea is considered so precious, that up until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money.

The ancient tradition of Tea-Leaf Reading can be traced back to most Asian Cultures. Being able to read the tea leaves is considered an art. A Reader interprets the patterns formed by the leaves at the bottom of the cup, and then weaves a story regarding the person’s past, present and future.

Believe it or not, a Tea Taster is a serious profession. Tea Tasters spend five to seven years in apprenticeship, training in the many different countries that produce tea. Over time their palate becomes so sensitive, that with one sip, they can identify the exact region a tea was grown, and when it was harvested.

A professional Tea Taster uses all their senses to judge the quality of the tea. They examine the leaves; crushing them in between their fingertips, listening to the sound, feeling the texture, and inhaling the fragrance. Only then do they finally taste.

It may sound like a relaxing job, sitting around sipping tea all day, but the speed with which a tea taster can taste and analyze a tea is simply phenomenal. By sipping, slurping and spitting, they can taste about 300 teas in an hour. The true way to enjoy tea is to brew it loose leaf style.

Herbal tea is similar, but made from fresh or dried flowers, leaves, seeds or roots. Just about any herb can be made into a tea, and most herbal teas have medicinal qualities. Tea is used to treat allergies, eczema, stress and sleep problems. It relieves nausea, upset stomach, indigestion and nervous tension, and has been shown to improve circulation, fight infections, and ease a fever.

Tea offers many health and beauty benefits and provides strong antioxidants for cleansing and hydrating the body. Just one cup of white tea supplies the same amount of antioxidants as ten cups of apple juice. Herbal tea is an acquired taste, but the effects can become addictive.

Tea is simply one of the healthiest, nourishing things you can drink and should definitely be sipped and enjoyed rather then gulped!

“People are like teabags… You can’t tell how strong they are until you put them in hot water.”

Andrea Maria Sims

A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew, and that night she had a dream. A hand appeared and pointed down at her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She told the old parish priest everything.

‘Is gossiping a sin?’ she asked the old priest. ‘Was that the hand of God Almighty pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking for absolution? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?’

‘Yes, you ignorant, badly broughtup female! You have borne false witness against your neighbour, you have played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed!’

So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

‘Not so fast!’ said the Priest. ‘I want you to go home, take a pillow up on your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me!’

So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to the roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.

‘Did you gut the pillow with the knife?’ he says.

‘Yes, Father.’

‘And what was the result?’

‘Feathers,’ she said.

‘Feathers?’ he repeated.

‘Feathers everywhere, Father!’

‘Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind!’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it can’t be done. I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over.’

‘And that,’ said the old Priest, ‘is GOSSIP!’

Liar, Liar! ~ The Truth About Lying… We ALL do it!

Most of our lies are the little white ones we tell to make ourselves look better, or to spare other people’s feelings.

We lie to…

Save face.
Avoid confrontation.
Get our own way.
Be nice.

Lying is an automatic response to protect ourselves, and most deception occurs with very little thought or awareness. Over time, you can become so accustomed to white lying, that all those little white lies finally push you to tell the big black ones.

So where and when do you draw the line at what is an acceptable white lie, and when does lying just become a more convenient existence…?

Men and women both lie, just about different things. Women tend to lie to make other people feel better, men usually lie to make themselves feel better.

According to Dr Bella DePaulo, a Social Scientist and Psychology Professor at the University of California, in Santa Barbara, we usually tell the most serious lies to the people we care about the most. We lie to cover up something we’re ashamed of, or when we feel we didn’t meet expectations, and live up to the image we think people have of us.

Lies can take on a life of their own, until we lose sight of where the truth ended and where the lie began. People lie to themselves, especially about their lying. If we tell a lie often enough, we even start to believe it ourselves.

For a compulsive liar, lying is second nature. There is no guilt. They lie about small things and important things with the same amount of non-concern. It can be hard to tell when a compulsive liar is lying, because the best liars are the ones who don’t feel badly about doing it.

Leaving out critical information, or not mentioning an important event is also considered lying…

Some people get a thrill from lying and getting away with it. Dr Bella DePaulo says, ‘Pathological liars lie even when the truth would be a better option… Pathological liars go to the lie first. It’s like lying has become so habitual to them, that they lie even when the truth would be a more persuasive answer.’

So how can you tell if you are being lied to?

Most people do feel badly when they lie, and this reflects in their words and body language. A sudden increase in “ums” and “ahs,” an overly defensive attitude, little eye contact or erratic eye movements, contradictory statements, and an increase in the speed of speech, are all clues that someone might not be telling the truth.

Liars get angry quickly, turning the blame onto the other person to avert the focus away from themselves. A liar will touch their mouth or nose a lot, and often fold their arms, or position items such as mugs, books, or other objects in between themselves and the person they are lying to.

People crave honesty until it’s something they don’t want to hear. Being brutally honest requires a certain amount of tact and discretion. A person who speaks the truth is respected, but not if they do so only to watch others suffer.

It’s often assumed that by being honest we give other people power, but by being honest we actually gain power ourselves. People don’t find as much pleasure in gossiping about information we admit freely, and lying creates a feeling of unease that can make us sick.

When faced with the truth, people may judge you or punish you, but that shows a deficiency in their character, not yours…

If you think you are protecting someone by lying, consider how it feels to find out YOU have been lied to. A person known for being honest, creates security in others and peace within themselves.

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence…”

Andrea Maria Sims

Summer Breeze…

Summer is never ending days, filled with soft, magical light; hazy mornings, lazy afternoons and magical nights. Summer is picnics, barbeques and bonfires with friends; cute summer dresses that are always in trend. Summer is beach, surf, swimming and sand; beautiful days and an endless tan. It’s the breeze in your hair, the sun on your face, and the freedom of being outside all over the place. ~ Andrea Maria Sims

A Blend of my Favourite Quotes

“The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude. We can not change our past, or predict the future, or change the way other people act towards us. All we can do is choose the attitude we take to deal with it. Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it.

People come and go out of my life, and the reality is that the cycle never ends. Every mistake counts, every smile counts, every tear counts, it’s what makes life real. People will make you mad, disrespect, betray you and treat you badly, but let it go, because hate in your heart will consume you.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken more than once, and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, work like you don’t need money and love like you’ve never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.”